


Only a broken heart, turned cynical

by orphan_account



Category: Banana Fish
Genre: M/M, and all the suffering that comes with it, it goes all up to the hug scene, remember volume 17, well that's it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-15 06:47:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15407340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Like a frog being stared down by a snake... You become immobilized with fear and dread. With utter panic.





	Only a broken heart, turned cynical

**Author's Note:**

> Title from: Only the Broken Hearts (Make You Beautiful) - Sonata Arctica

"You bastards are all the same, always using force to get what you want. Smacking people around when they try to resist. You just want to dominate people..." Ash was slowly crumbling. He realized that there was no reasoning with psychopath like Foxx. "Well, do whatever you want to me. You are never gonna dominate me. Ever. My mind and spirit are mine! I'll fight you assholes all the way! With everything I got!"  
Foxx' satisfied smirk confirmed his greatest fears. He was not going to get out of this easily, and knowing his own history, maybe provoking him wasn't his greatest idea. But Ash was tired of being possessed and looked upon as a fuck toy, especially after... Especially after Max burned all photos of his past... He thought he was free...  
"All right," said Foxx with calm smile while he took out a knife and pointed it at Ash's chest. "In that case, I will do whatever I want to you."  
There goes his freedom.  
Again.  
***  
First he started with cutting him up... bit by bit, slowly, everywhere he could think of. On Ash's chest, on his back, arms... sometimes chocking him while he cut his back. Ash gritted his teeth and endured, almost never crying out in pain, although it did hurt like a bitch. Who liked being carved up anyway? Except the sadist doing it, obviously no one.  
"How are you holding up? You do know this is just the beginning. I will break you, wildcat, you have my promise." Foxx pured, but Ash couldn't see his face considering that Foxx was carving up another line on his back.  
"Ha ha ha... So this was just a roleplay then? I hope it ends with you dying from a stroke. You are old enough to die from overexcitedness." Ash snarled, turning his head around just so he could smirk at Foxx's face.  
"Cocky, aren't you? Let's see how long this will last. Did you know? Golzine told me to do whatever I want to you, as long as i return you alive with your brain intact."  
Foxx slammed his head against the floor, hard enough to almost black him out, but he still held on. Damn. Maybe if he was out cold, he would stop and give someone... anyone... time to get him out of there. If not, anything was better than being in the same room as Foxx. He could even get himself out, if only he wasn't pinned down by him, hands bound on his back.  
But he couldn't. Not while Foxx's guard was up constantly. He shouldn't underestimate someone who takes pleasure in torturing his victims.  
And then he felt it. Foxx was unbuttoning Ash's jeans and pulling them down with his right hand while he still held his head down on the ground. He knew it was coming. He always knew what was coming. His whole life he knew that he should always prepare for the worst case scenarios. And this was one. For him, getting raped was nothing new, and sadists like Foxx were nothing new, but Foxx unerved him. He knew that Foxx would kill him, or maim him, and that he was free to do what he wanted, without any consequence.  
He had to fight. Fight! Fight! He had to! He was not going to make this easy for Foxx! That bastard deserves to die, and he will kill him as soon as he has the chance to do it! So he kicked with all his strenght, but...  
That didn't work.  
As if Foxx anticipated his move, he suddenly jerked the rope on Ash's neck up, then slammed him down again. His head hurt even worse. Damn, what a roleplay. Sicko.  
And then he was let go. His head was spinning. It hurt, all the cuts just amplified the headache he had. And then the knife... The knife was at his anus.  
His heart raced. No. No... he couldn't go through this again. Fuck. Fuck. I don't want this. Stop... stop...  
"Don't touch me! Stop! You son of a bit--"  
And then it exploded. The asshole shoved entire handle of the knife inside. And promptly pulled it out. And then back in.  
He had a lot of things showed in by sadists like Foxx, but none of them were designed to actually hurt them because of Dino. But now he wasn't protected. He wasn't protected by Dino in prison either. Back then they all took turns with him and he hadn't struggled because he knew they were no ordinary prisoners, but Dino's lackeys.  
This was completely different.  
This pain was different.  
He stopped thinking. "Argh... Fuck... You sick son....of a---"  
Foxx just laughed. "Oh hon. You do know we need a lube right? Your blood should be enough, so I am just preparing you for that."  
"Maybe we will have enough... when I stab you in the dick."  
"With what, Ash? You don't have anything. Relax. This is going to hurt." And then he showed it harder and sharper inside and Ash cried out, few tears falling down his face. At least Foxx couldn't see his face at the moment as he was to busy showing it in and out.  
It was pure pain. And it hurt his soul.  
***  
When Foxx thought it was enough, he pulled the knife out and threw it on the ground. Ash panted, almost breathless, and relieved that the it was finally out. But he knew there would be no breaks. Sadists never take breaks.  
He was probably bleeding out a lot. Who knew. He was still dizzy.  
Eiji... I'm so fucking glad you aren't here.  
He blacked out.  
***  
A slap woke him up. "Damn, maybe i shouldn't have slammed your head that much, but... who cares. You are still alive. Congratulations, whore. You are not dead yet. You won't be."  
Ash blinked, trying to see. His head was clearing a bit. He probably didn't have a concussion. Good. He needed to be able to think cleary so he could escape.  
"Sleeping beauty, I didn't want to wake you up, but then again. It isn't fun to shove my dick inside you if you are not awake." As he was saying that, he turned Ash around on his back.  
Damn even his back hurt from the cuts. Fuck him.  
"At least this time I can watch your face as I fuck you. I hope you will suffer as much as I will enjoy doing this." Foxx pulled Ash's legs and settled himself between. That fucker was hard.  
He knew what was coming, he knew.... and yet... He was not prepared when he showed in. He was loose from the knife but it still fucking hurt. Who knew how much skin that knife teared, but it sure as hell makes this worse.  
He grimaced, closing his eyes and trying to think of anything else. Eiji... I need him to go away... Away from this... Away from me... I don't want anything like this to happen to him...  
"Oh, this is fun. What a nice face to look at," Foxx took ahold his chin, while showing his face close to Ash. "Open your eyes, Ash. Do it." When he didn't, Foxx slapped him, hard. "Open them. If you don't, I will take the same knife and start cutting off a finger...one by one... every time you don't obey me."  
He didn't want to lose his fingers, but god damn it, it fucking hurt, and Foxx sure loved multitasking. He never stopped fucking him, his pace always steady and rythmic. He had no choice. No, he always had a choice.  
The first thing he saw was his fucking smile. "Atta boy. See how fear gets you into obeying? Don't worry. I was quite serious and I still am. You don't need your triger finger. That one will be the first to go. Don't bite."  
And then he kissed him. God! He wanted to puke. He was sick of this. Sick of everything. He wasn't the type to lose his composure, he was perfect actor, built into this role, built to make everyone who looks at him lose it and fall on his charm. But he couldn't pretend. Not this time.  
He was afraid. Afraid of his bastard.  
At least Eiji and others were safe. But the others that were taken with him... He hoped they weren't harmed. But he stopped hoping that they will get unscathed..  
He wanted to be anywhere else. Anywhere but here. With Eiji in Japan... With his gang... with anyone... but he didn't know how much he could stand---  
His thoughts were broken when the bastard stopped, leaned away, and then after few seconds started going even faster and harder.  
He looked at the ceiling. He sincerely hoped the old bastard would die from a sudden stroke.  
***  
It went on for hours. And when Foxx took breaks, he used them to carve him up again.  
Little by little. Slowly.  
And then he started again.  
***  
It was almost a surprise when he woke up. He didn't even knew he blacked out. He woke up to a towel cleaning the blood on him.  
It was Foxx. He probably figured out he was too bloody to continue.  
He didn't expect for Foxx to dress him up again.  
"You know. I still want us to be partners. You would obey me completely, and we would rule the underworld. If you do as I say. I know your sort. You pretend to be obedient, but you are dangerous. You wouldn't submit so easily, not even with me cutting off your fingers. You were probably prepared for it the moment I captured you."  
Ash said nothing. Just listened.  
"Oh well, I will break you. Trust me on that."  
***  
"Quite a stubborn little bastard you are," Foxx said, sitting in his chair, smoking. Ash knew that it would be the best if he pretended that he was still semi dazed.  
"Colonel! May I come in?" Another voice called out from behind the door. Ash knew that his chance was going to come soon.  
"What is it?"  
"Monsieur Golzine is on the line."  
Foxx noded. "All right, I am coming." And then he went to Ash, taking a fistful of his hair. "You will do as I say. I will see to that. And the sooner it is, the better for you." Then he instructed his men to do whatever they want to Ash, as long as they don't kill him.  
As if he would let them do that.  
***  
He did it. he killed the bastards in the room. He got free and knifed the bastard who tried to rape him in the stomach with his own knife and threw the said knife on the second bastard's head. Idiots.  
Time to get out of here.  
He took a gun.  
***  
He was pissed off. Very pissed off. He still had energy left, but god damn it, he needed to find that son of a bitch.  
It pleased him inside to see Foxx actually shaken up by his appearance. He probably thought he inflicted enough damage to make him go down. "Good god! Retreat!!" Fox shouted at his men.  
As if.  
"Get back here, Foxx!" He had to cover when another group of armed soldiers entered.  
"We shall meet again, Ash! Don't forget what i told you."  
And then they were gone. But then Ash heard it.  
"Ash!" It was Eiji's voice! he quickly turned around.  
"Thank god! You are safe!!" He was shocked. He didn't expect him of all people to come to save him.  
"Morons! What are you doing here?", he snapped, but inside... he felt safer... just a bit.  
***  
It took them a while to get out. They found a safe place to rest.  
He heard that they were talking. He heard... heard Cain... but he had no idea what he said.  
All he felt was a hand on his shoulder and everything came back.  
The touches, the pain, Foxx's face. All of it at once. So he snapped and slapped the hand away.  
He knew he fucked up. But he couldn't stop it. He couldn't stop the sudden cold he felt, the shivering, the panic that was getting a hold on him.  
"What's up man?" It was Cain. He only wanted to check if he was alright. If he could stand being touched that would be another story. But now he wanted to puke. He was sick.  
"S-Sorry about that, Cain... I'm all right. It's nothing serious." He couldn't look at anyone. He knew that they probably figured it out. His torn clothes... his reaction at being touched... his shivering...He noticed the silence... No one talked.  
He needed something to hold on to. But he couldn't bear if it was another person. he didn't want to touch anyone. "I'm fine.... Just need a little rest, that's all." He used a wall to move until he got to the crate and sat on it.  
He couldn't stop. He couldn't stop trembling. He...  
He looked up to see Eiji closing.  
Eiji looked at him, frowning.  
He didn't know what to expect. He probably thought Ash was disguisting. He let Foxx do what he wanted, he fought, but still couldn't stop it. He tried.  
He knew that Eiji probably knew what happened.  
And then... Eiji leaned and hugged him. He was shocked. He hugged him as hard as he could and Ash felt safe. The freezing cold inside his veins was gone...  
There was only warmth.  
Eiji was the only one... The only one whose touch wouldn't hurt Ash.  
He was safe.  
He was safe.


End file.
